I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
