She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
