how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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