you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
