i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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