READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
