I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
