More tranny stories later!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
