Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
