you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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