Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
