In the future we'll all be gay
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
