bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
