i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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