You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
