There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
BRING THE BAGELS
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have tasted many bathrooms
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
