Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
