haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
A bitchslap is in order.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
