Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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