I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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