Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My pussy is not your playground.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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