Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
