i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
