i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want nice things and good sex
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
