OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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