Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
