I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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