Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
