his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
