you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
