Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
