so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
