About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
