I want to walk on stilts...naked
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
