We're facebook friends in real life
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
