Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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