how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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