he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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