Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
