Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
