i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
