We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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