Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
