Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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