One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
