Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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