escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
