To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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