there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Come see our sink grown plant.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
