Tell her she can't have a vagina
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
