he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
